Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
