It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
