Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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