just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize