I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
