She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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