Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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