After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Everything about him screamed your future.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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