Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
