JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
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