i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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