good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Randomize
