Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
