this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
