Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
