My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
