This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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