Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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