i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
