Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
