His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
