I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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