Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
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