Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
