I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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