Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
