and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
