i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
