mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize