oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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