see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
