On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
