ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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