is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
