i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
