Soap is not a condiment
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
