I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
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