Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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