My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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