y did u give ur computer a hand job?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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