I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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