In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize