I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
