So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
