What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
