Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
