is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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