On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
