we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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