I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
they need to just BURY HIM!
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize