Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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