Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
