I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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