you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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