That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
