Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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