I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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