I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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