I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Randomize
