1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
