these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Do you have feelings for this penis?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
